Self-loathing is a non-constructive skill, which is clearly manifested in attempts to establish a relationship. Getting closer to someone, you automatically begin to look for the reasons why it suddenly pulled him to a low-profile object like you, guessing in this traction manifestations of weakness and intensely calculating what is wrong with it. Why does he seem normal, so stupid, desperate or weak to get carried away by you?
When you are convinced of your own unattractiveness, the other person’s attention seems fake or strange. When you dislike yourself, love from the outside is perceived as an undeserved gift with suspicious connotations, which is more correct to refuse.
Under the pressure of self-criticism, you assert yourself that the only reason why he chose you – is that he naively missed all the disturbing and dark aspects of your character. In the end, he will discover the mistake, and therefore, it is more reasonable to escape before you are exposed and abandoned. You remain alone because, despite the desire for love, you, in fact, do not believe that you will be noticed and loved.
You can also, under the flood of gifts, messages and kisses, feel that the admirer needs you – and experience disappointment. His attraction is annoying because you do not see yourself as a worthy target for someone else’s desires and subconsciously reject the emerging addiction. It is your deep belief that you are not the person to depend on.
What should I do? Accept and believe in yourself
And yet none of the distressing speculations have anything to do with reality. The man who got carried away with you is almost certainly not naive. He sees you as you are, including not too delightful sides, and not only does not consider them terrible, but even vice versa.
All people are not perfect, and that’s not an obstacle to a relationship. We can all be not too good, we can all be smart, we can all be right – not as we seem to be – which is absolutely normal. Nevertheless, each person, in his most loving imperfection, is worthy of care and love – in all manifestations.
This tactic will allow you to accept yourself and all your imperfections. This applies not only to your appearance, but also to the character traits that make you a truly unique person. By doing so, you will begin to truly love yourself. As a result, other people will reach out to you and you will finally find your true love.